I have done a layout reflecting this journaling already, however, I wanted to use my new kit "Lost Gift" to redo the layout.

Journaling:
I made Eric run out and purchase the pregnancy tests. I was to scared. This wasn't planned. The odds of it happening were astronomical. But yet those little sticks told us what we were least expecting. I was pregnant.
I sat on the bed, Eric sat beside me, and we stared at those sticks for over an hour. We didn't know what to say. What to think. This wasn't in our plans. This scared us.
I made my first doctors appointment. Days passed and as Eric and I talked, we started to realize that it was okay. That it was all going to be okay. We allowed ourselves to accept. To rejoice. To be happy about this unexpectant gift. We told family members. Eric would kiss my tummy before we crawled into bed each night and he would whisper "Good night Kermit".
But it was not meant to be.
On March 3, 2004, I woke up feeling off. I went into the restroom and the sadness that broke my soul began. I was losing this gift. A scenario I had never envisioned. Never thought of. Never considered. Miscarriage. This wasn't suppose to happen to me. Not me. Not with this pregnancy. Not this.
We were in for an ultrasound a few hours later. I laid on that table and prayed that she would turn the monitor towards me and say "See Stacy, there is the little heartbeat, there is nothing to fear". But she never did that. Words I didn't fully graps. Stop developing at 5 weeks. Losing the pregnancy. Non-viable pregnancy. And the tears. I wanted to shrink into the walls and wish it all away.
We had lost our gift. It wasn't meant to be.
My due date came and I cried the deepest tears. I should have had a baby in my arms. Our baby. We would have named the baby Rowan. That was the name we wanted. The anniversary is now upon me and again, I cry my tears. I know it wasn't meant to be, but I wish that it had been.